Hell and High Water

It's a good thing no one reads this blog, because I'm sure they would be horribly disappointed in me. It seems like I had a momentary lapse in my usually unshakable cynicism and allowed myself to indulge in the most dangerous of fantasies: everything will fall into place.

I therefore did not get a job in January, when I should have, before the recession was in full swing, when jobs were available. I'll give myself a little credit, though - I was a mess in January and a lot of February, and I'm fairly proud of myself for getting out of bed every day, continuing to bathe and not developing a severe drinking habit. But I still should have gotten a job.

I should have gotten a job in March or April, when I was feeling better, and really didn't have an excuse not to. So when May rolled around, I panicked, but I figured I could just work for a month, save up a few hundred bucks, and make a break for it. So I put my trip off for a month, and swore that come Hell or high water, I would be leaving on June first.

Suffice it to say, that won't be happening. I've come up with another new plan, but I'm afraid something will go wrong - or I'll go wrong, and I won't get to go.

But I have to go. It sounds horribly lame to talk about going off to find myself, but essentially, that's what I need to do. And I need to do it before I have a mortgage and kids and a husband and a dog and a job where it will actually effect anything if I take off for long periods of time.

So, my new plan, is to leave in September. Since Canada is cold in the fall and winter, I want to go to Germany to see Clayton, possibly from there to see Auntie Jan in Switzerland, pop over to England to drop in on some friends, then to Wales to see some family. Of course, I would have to backpack all of this, on probably $1000 or less, so I might just end up hanging out in Germany for a couple of weeks -but I have to do something. I also might end up having my return flight land in Vancouver, and walking back from there, 'cause I could make it before it got really, really cold.

Anyway, enough writing about what I'm going to do - I need to be focusing on getting a job today, so that's what I'm doing.

On a slightly more upbeat note, I've been exercising every day for the past two weeks, and it's really starting to show, so hooray for that.

Getting Ready: some random stuff

Clothing: I haven't done anything about my clothes. My building doesn't have a laundry room, and despite what I was told my the leasing agent, there is not a laundromat just down the street. As a result, I have not washed and packed/given away all of the clothes that I'm not taking on my trip. Or any of them. When I get there, I will have four piles: one for clothes I'm bringing, one for clothes I'm keeping, one for clothes I'm giving away, and one for clothes which are currently too tight, but might look really good on me by May, if I keep up with my exercise. I am completely overwhelmed by clothing at the moment; I feel like I'm drowning in it.

Exercise: I don't exercise anywhere as much as I should. I was blessed with the type of body that's relatively easy to get into and keep in shape, then cursed with insomnia, hypoglycemia, a bad heart and (the most detrimental to my getting-in-shape plans) extreme laziness. Nonetheless, since there is no way I will survive this trip if I'm out of shape, I've been DDRing for an hour straight every day for the past couple of weeks. It seems to be working nicely, but not as nicely as I'd like, which means that soon, I'm going to have to include morning pilates and planking... and possibly drinking cider vinigar every morning, which is about the most disgusting way to start one's day.

Plane Tickets: Plane tickets are expensive, but doable. The trick, I suppose, is finding the right combination of locations to make the whole thing a) as cheap as possible and b) as fun. Since the second leg of my trip includes a trip to Europe (possibly the UK, possibly the rest of Europe, probably both), and because of where I am and the fact that I don't have a definite idea of where I'm going, I can fly out of anywhere from Rochester to Montreal, and into anywhere from Cardiff to Zurich. Basically, I'm looking at somewhere between $900 and $2000, which, if I want to be realistic, means I'd better find something for $1500 or less. That is just flying. Then I have to find somewhere to stay.

Money: I'm honestly starting to freak out a bit about money. In some ways, I'm not as worried about that as I am about other things, because, frankly, I'm not going to let myself die, which is the worst thing that a lack of money can do to me. I'm young and relatively healthy, and I think I can handle a few nights out in the cold, or without food, if I absolutely have to. It'll just be one more story to tell, right? My main concerns money-wise are my cell phone and my Internet (and, of course, my plane tickets, but that all has to be worked out before I leave, or Europe is out), because I think keeping in contact with the people back home is important. The pre-trip money is kind of worrisome, though, 'cause I have so much stuff I need to buy ahead of time.

Stuff: I need a lot of stuff. Most importantly, travel underwear, and travel socks. Oh, and a tiny laptop. I nearly forgot that part, which is scary, because that's important. My Internet won't help me if I don't have anything to hook it up to. Then there are all the little things, collapsible water bottles, rain-proof shoulder bags, things like that.

Gnome: I might just take Leonard with me - but I'm so afraid I'll lose him. I suppose that's one thing I can leave for a little later. It's the other stuff that I need to be focusing on now anyway.

In Conclusion: I know this seems like a whah, I'm so overwhelmed, save me from myself kind of post, but it's not meant to be. Actually, I'm unusually optimistic about the whole thing right now. I guess we'll just have to see where it goes.