Hell and High Water

It's a good thing no one reads this blog, because I'm sure they would be horribly disappointed in me. It seems like I had a momentary lapse in my usually unshakable cynicism and allowed myself to indulge in the most dangerous of fantasies: everything will fall into place.

I therefore did not get a job in January, when I should have, before the recession was in full swing, when jobs were available. I'll give myself a little credit, though - I was a mess in January and a lot of February, and I'm fairly proud of myself for getting out of bed every day, continuing to bathe and not developing a severe drinking habit. But I still should have gotten a job.

I should have gotten a job in March or April, when I was feeling better, and really didn't have an excuse not to. So when May rolled around, I panicked, but I figured I could just work for a month, save up a few hundred bucks, and make a break for it. So I put my trip off for a month, and swore that come Hell or high water, I would be leaving on June first.

Suffice it to say, that won't be happening. I've come up with another new plan, but I'm afraid something will go wrong - or I'll go wrong, and I won't get to go.

But I have to go. It sounds horribly lame to talk about going off to find myself, but essentially, that's what I need to do. And I need to do it before I have a mortgage and kids and a husband and a dog and a job where it will actually effect anything if I take off for long periods of time.

So, my new plan, is to leave in September. Since Canada is cold in the fall and winter, I want to go to Germany to see Clayton, possibly from there to see Auntie Jan in Switzerland, pop over to England to drop in on some friends, then to Wales to see some family. Of course, I would have to backpack all of this, on probably $1000 or less, so I might just end up hanging out in Germany for a couple of weeks -but I have to do something. I also might end up having my return flight land in Vancouver, and walking back from there, 'cause I could make it before it got really, really cold.

Anyway, enough writing about what I'm going to do - I need to be focusing on getting a job today, so that's what I'm doing.

On a slightly more upbeat note, I've been exercising every day for the past two weeks, and it's really starting to show, so hooray for that.

I Did That in the Wrong Order

Post #2 was going to explain the whys and the wherefores of my little adventure, and #3 was going to explain about the gnomes. Oh well; occupational hazard.

So, why I'm going in May:

Essentially, because my lease is up in May. I LOVE my apartment. I'm going to be absolutely heartbroken to give it up, but I don't want to live in this tiny afterthought of a town for the rest of my life. For the people who were born here, getting out is a badge of honour. There is an entire Facebook group devoted to the people who have escaped. It's hard to live here and not want to leave.

Why I'm going at all:

Actually, it's kind of hard to articulate. Beacuse I want to. Because I don't want to look back at my twenties and think: I got an apartment, I lived there, got a job, went on a couple of vacations, then I was thirty. Actually, there's no part of my life I want to sound that boring when I'm retelling it, or be that boring while I'm living it. Because I grew up watching movies like Indianna Jones and Batman and The Neverending Story. Because I want to live in a world where adventures are real, not something you see in movies or read about in books. Because I want to be interesting, not just to other people, but to myself.

So, there you have it, why I plan venture, jobless and homeless into the world, and why I'm more excited about the prospect than I have been about pretty much anything I've ever done.

Wish me luck.